Playing the Field

Life as we know it is a constantly changing battle field, where seemingly, in an instant the rules of the game and the circumstances of the playing field radically change. Though we might try to constrain and control life’s vast unpredictability, no sooner do we seemingly master the “rules of the game” do the very rules we’ve mastered become rendered obsolete by change. I think as I grow older, I learn more and more that the more I try to build complex rules of engagement into my life the less effective I become at everything I do. Today is different than yesterday, tomorrow will be different than today, as simple a truth as this may be, the more quickly we learn to embrace the fact that there is a constantly changing setting in which we must live the more quickly we can surrender ourselves to the renewal of our approach to life, love, and ourselves each day.

Each year, I try my best to go through two fundamental benchmarking exercises in my life, one for the past and one for the future. For the future, it's a matter of taking an assessment of where I am, where I’d like to go, and how I want to get there. For the past, I chronicle where I am, where I’ve been, and affirm the that which I have learned along the way. What’s interesting to me is that my plan for the future requires far more thought, yields much less joy, and seems to need constant revision to “update” for the reality of life’s dynamic nature. On the flipside, when I look at my past, and take a snap shot of all I’ve done, who I am, and affirm what truth is in my life, that seems so much clearer and it tends to yield far deeper reflection into the core of who I am as a young man.

It is easy to realize that the past is a far simpler beast than the future. The past it is anchored in time, it is unchangeable, it is unchanging, it simply is. The future, holds so much potential, and with our nature we as people naturally feel that the future is in our hands. We believe we can do things to dictate change, control the outcome, or alter our destiny. While I agree with the fact that we are in fact free-thinking, choice making creatures who largely get to decide certain things in our lives via our own freewill, I struggle with the fact that our freewill is not free from be imposed upon by our circumstances. No matter how much a prisoner wills to be free, how much the lame will to walk, how much the blind will to see, often will alone is not sufficient to alter the playing field of circumstance. So what then are we left with? How then will we try to build up the rules of engagement in our lives to account for such an untamable beast as the future?

As the years progress and I have the benefit of more experience, and more data points in my life with which to engage in my personal reflection/self assessment, the more I realize the more we need (I need) to cling to simple foundational truths in my life. I think part of the reason my yearly review of my past, is so much more fruitful then my yearly planning of the future, is that all my past is totally devoid of the semantics and schemes of control in my life; it already happened. All the complexity of execution is gone, and we’re left to look at the results for better or worse, we’re left with the truth about the choices we’ve made, who we are at that point in time, and we’re left to survey the landscape of life and know some really great things. Who am I being? Who am I really? How do the person I am, and the person I want to be line up? Am I content? Why not? Should I be?...you can ask none of these questions about your future, you can only take your past in the context of your present, to make choices about what you’ll do today, in the hopes that we may achieve the best alignment of the truth we know and the lives we live.

For me, each year it is simple truth that seems to provide the most foundational instruction for my daily life, and it is by embracing truth that I am better equipped to do the things, and be the man I desire to be. When I look back, I think I was a victim of myself for many years, I tried to control, plan, and engineer my life so that I would achieve “success”, but what does that even mean? Professional advancement? Increased Wealth? Better fitness? More friends? More fun? I’m not so convinced that any of that really matters, rather I’m convinced those things and the laundry list of other things we might chase in this life are circumstantial truths, or the context in which REAL truth plays out. In order for truth to really “work” in our lives, we must have the ability to apply it in all contexts, at all times to account for this quickly changing playing field we’ve all been thrust into.

My list is short, my mission statement is broad, the concepts are simple. And ultimately it boils down to love. Who am I? A man loved greatly, by great friends, a wonderful family, and the unfailing inexhaustible love of God who made me to be great by his definition not my own. What do I want to do with my life? love people boldly, fearlessly, and wildly. What’s great about that is that I have opportunities to be who I am, and do what I want to do every day. I can do this in all times in all places. Do I come up lacking sometimes? You bet. Will I keep on trying? You bet. What’s most amazing to me is that what I want to do is made possible mostly by how I define who I am, and who I am is affirmed in what I want to do…it seems to work.

We seldom get choices in life about which playing field we’ll be on, we only get choices about how we’ll play…so go get after it, and simply be the best “you” you know how to be. Anchor to things that matter, and it makes the process a lot easier.

Playing hard,

CJP