Punctuality

It’s a little ironic that I’m writing what I’m about to write from an airplane that is now 2 hours delayed. Being that I am a prisoner of the tarmac, I guess it couldn’t be more appropriate that I put my time to use.

Over the past weeks I have undertaken a few new personal initiatives that have yielded some great visibility into areas of my life and heart that simply needed tending to. As I started weeding the garden of my heart, I realized that I needed to rethink some little things in big ways…and it turned out those little things have had big impacts on my personal effectiveness and satisfaction almost immediately.

While the regimen and focus of my personal changes are irrelevant, I’ve realized and been reminded yet again of God’s timing, how perfect it is, and how while HIS time always feels too late or too early, its always right on time.

I am realizing more and more at each turn in my life, that many of the things that I view as not being “punctual” are often for my own good, and protection. I, being impatient and often foolish, ask the questions “why now God?” and “why not now God?” way too often, I guess that’s pretty symptomatic of the fact that I might need to work on trusting God in certain ways more, but its progressive…I’m still learning, and each day all the more. When I look back at some of the things that have been early/late in my life, their timing has yielded some of the greatest blessings and examples of God’s protective hand for me.

There are some things in my life past and present, that I’m realizing God has withheld for my benefit, most likely because there are probably a lot of “blessings” that if I had them now, I’d probably ruin them or ruin myself and do so in a hurry. In the same way there are some challenges or delays in my life that have opened my eyes and hearts to great blessings that I would have never been in a position to receive if I would have been on my own timing.

As I look at my life critically, it’s not God’s watch that needs to be reset to my time, its my time that needs to be set to God’s watch…in fact, I probably just need not wear a watch when it comes to tracking the timing of his cosmic wonders. Part of God’s perfect nature is his being on time each day, each morning, each night, and every moment of every day, is right on time. I’m learning to take a step back and look at my moments, not my days/months/years and ask “What do you have for me right now God?, in this moment right here?”…there is much more at our finger tips than we perceive, and we can miss it if we’re looking too far ahead or behind.

I understand that we are God’s children, but sometimes, I’m much more the kid screaming in the back seat than I am the kid enjoying a day with my heavenly father in the park…I’m working on it lately and am reaffirmed at my vast need for grace.

My whole timeline has been dialed way back, and one might think that focusing on and living in a smaller unit of time is constraining it couldn’t be more contrary, it is infinitely liberating and it makes us really effective at what we do. I mean right now, in the course of writing this post, I’ve just been delayed yet again, I’ll be a few hours late for MY time and MY agenda but I’m also getting to watch the sunset out the airplane window and being reminded of the fact that God is on time each day, he’s working great miracles for each of us each day, and while it’s hard to have a clear picture where we’re going, and when we’ll get there we must remember we are right on time…God’s time that is.

Right on time,
CP
http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com/

The Greatest Gift I Gave Me

In 2006 I started a tradition, I believe the standard is that it takes 3 years to be a true tradition, so this year I guess it’s official. I decided that for my birthday I would benchmark/chronicle my life by writing myself a letter each year. When I started I had no idea what I was doing, or what it may yield, but at the time I was at a place where I saw fit to create a beacon to get back to that time in my life. Believe me I know this sounds like a novelty that a teacher would force upon a student as a cute literary and inspirational exercise…and I guess that’s not too far off. I have made a commitment to read them only around my birthday or the weeks leading up to it to prepare my thoughts, and then to put them away for the rest of the year…it has been a great gift from past tense me each year.

As I recall 2006, the year I wrote the first letter, it was a really hard year for me. By no means did anything catastrophic happen, and in no way were the challenges I faced earth shattering or insurmountable, it was just a difficult time for me. For whatever reason or reasons it was like I couldn’t get the ground beneath my feet, I had a general imbalance about me that was terribly frustrating. Every time I thought I had gotten through the worst of it, something new would emerge…it felt very much like the year of no respite. Yet despite all that, each year I read a letter from someone who found immense joy and peace despite those things.

I guess despite all my uncertainty, all the challenges and all the discomfort I did remember a few things that were inalienable that let joy prevail in my life. As I go back and read these letters, it’s amazing to reflect on where I’ve been. I don’t know how it worked out so well, but some of the tidbits I wrote in that first letter have been profound in keeping my heart and soul healthy and rooted in purpose, and on the right track. It’s sometimes easy to so caught up in where we are, what we’re doing, and where we think we’re going it’s easy to forget where we’ve been and how far we’ve come. Below are a few of the reminders over the past few years which I have left myself to remember where I’ve been…for what it’s worth here are a few themes that have shown up in my letters that have been encouraging for each of the past years.

1. A reminder of who I am – this seems trivial, but I am about as ADD as they come, and often times I get so wound up, distracted, and move so fast that sometimes its I forget who I am in my heart of hearts.
   
2. A reminder that God made me, God chose me to be his, that he loves me, and that I’m a steward of his work. I love the infinite “specialness” that is God’s creation work…I need to remind myself that God made me on purpose, to love doing specific things, to love people in specific ways, and most importantly to love him. This to me is no small deal, and can revolutionize the way you look at every moment of your life…if you let it.
3. A reminder to hold on to nothing, one of my best friends taught me 3 important words, “Let it go”. I believe that there is only so much room in our hearts, if we choose to hold on to too much of the hurt, the heartache, and the pain of this life, undoubtedly we will be embittered and callous patrons of this life. If we let that stuff go and melt away, we make room for love, joy, and peace that only God provides.
4. A reminder to keep “doing”…one of my biggest self identified risks is the risk of not doing anything. I need to be gently spurred to keep being outbound with my life, to make something of every minute of every day, I know this seems like stuff you’d read on a graduation card, but it’s worth repeating, it’s worth pursuing, and it’s worth living out each day
5. Finally, I remind myself to love people in my life freely and recklessly, this may be the single most important thing that past tense me has done for present tense me. It is really hard, to really love. When we open our hearts it makes room to get hurt, be let down, be disappointed…past tense me knew that, and saw firit to encourage present tense me to love anyways. It is a scary conviction to have, but I really believe that if we want to do anything with ourselves, it has to begin and end with love.
   

These letters have been a huge blessing in my life, and have been a great source of reflection each year, and while it feels like the distant past, it’s quite familiar. I know that I’m prone to wander, and while this is the case, each year I get a reminder of where home is.
I always seem to be on airplanes when I write these things…but that is probably circumstantial versus intentional, and oddly this week I’m flying to New York, which just so happens to be where I was flying from when I wrote my first letter. Sometimes life affords us beautiful poetic symmetry…

I’m not sure what I’ll write this year but I hope my letter makes it to future me, and I hope future me is encouraged by whatever it is… I’m thankful to have friends and a family who love me and make my life truly special.

Glad to have made it so far,
CP
http://Chrispanoff.blogspot.com

Oh the Humanity!

It’s amazing to me to think that this post marks approximately 1 year of blogging. While my time spent writing has been sporadic, and clearly all over the map in terms of content, I selfishly couldn’t be more pleased with what this process has yielded in me personally. It may be selfish, but time and time again, I am reaffirmed in the benefit of putting myself out there, imperfections, insecurities and all. It seems that every day I am reminded that life is not about what we harvest, it is about the seeds we sew…and in this life we may never see the fruits of our work, but that fact is not an excuse, but rather an exercise in humility, diligence, and patience.

Over the past few weeks, I have been all over the place, I’ve had some high highs and some low lows, and despite it all I’ve somehow ended up in a place where I receive the all too familiar reminder of that life is not easy by any stretch for anyone, but it is good.


Last weekend I was with my family in Colorado and I had the awesome opportunity of heading out on a bike ride up a mountain pass. I left Estes Park, Colorado (altitude 7,000 ft) and headed up into the hills for the next 2+ hours to arrive just shy of 12,000ft, literally all uphill. All morning long it was slow steady progress, as I grinded away over the dozens of switchbacks, each pedal stroke a reminder of the shape I used to be in. Each tier of the ascent was like a new layer of the world was peeled back, and as I looked out along the mountains that sat on the horizon the World around me expanded..truly spectacular. With each meandering turn the air slowly thinned, my pulse quickened, yet despite my increasing strain I was reminded that in life (and in the mountains), that in order to have mountain top moments, we must first climb out of the valley…and sometimes those climbs are long and painful....the above picture is from half way up the mountain.


When I fail to venture out into the unknown spaces of this life, and sit quiet and content in the face of this life’s challenges, I know I miss out on the fullness and richness of life that is out there. It is as if we as people despite our deepest hunger, will not eat an apple because at its center, awaits a core. This life has thousands of things that are hard about it, and we can choose to make the fact that life is hard the centerpiece of the story or a sub plot. Whether it be uncertainty, fear, or discomfort that keep us from heading up the slopes of this life, we must press on…as Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell…keep going.”… The sad part about my morning ride was that I almost traded the view and the satisfaction the hard climb brought for a quiet painless morning on the couch.


So even despite the fact that life feels a lot like a long infinite uphill climb, we must climb on. There are a lot of things that I know I must do that scare me to death, there are a lot of questions whose gaping uncertainty paralyzes me, and I am sure that despite my best efforts to climb, I will certainly stumble and end up in the valley over and over, however, I’m committing to dust myself off, pick up my head, push toward the summit. Yeah life deal’s some hard blows sometimes, but that’s life…me must learn to carry on.


In it all there is a balance to be had between the ferocity with which we live and the love that we give. We mustn’t let our desire to surge onward be done at the expense of the other travelers with us on this rocky road called life. In the end we must learn to live like the lion, and love like the lamb. Living life with a furious indifference to it, loving wildly, fearlessly, and with reckless abandon for those we love, but never compromising compassion, tenderness, or sincerity.


Christ’s ministry was founded on the principle of radical love; and loving as Christ loves requires us to recklessly love and pursue Christ’s people (aka All people). We are not afforded the luxury of choosing who loves us, but rather, we are afforded the luxury and given the invitation of loving, period, hard stop.


In the end, there is much to be done in this life, and while I do yearn to change the world and impact thousands and millions of lives…I realize that in order to change millions of lives, I must do so one at a time, with simple and small change. Being kind, loving others, making people smile, helping them laugh, loving in real ways…loving.


I don’t know who reads these posts, nor am I concerned. I just know this is part of putting my life to work and doing what it takes to climb some of the steep slopes. I hope you realized that a year ago, when I started the “Open Book Project”, it was not without fear or hesitation, and even to this day it is not without reluctance that I open my heart to the world to see the humanity in me, but it is the people around me who inspire me to keep climbing, keep loving, keep going, press on towards Christ…it is those who climb with me who keep me climbing.


Thank you for giving me the opportunity to open the book of my life to you all. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for loving me. Yet, it is my fervent hope that you might not see me in all these things, but rather that I would be merely a reflection of the light of God.

A year later, in a vastly different place, yet a place that seems quite familiar…planting seeds where I can.
CP
http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com/

Humility & The City of Broad Shoulders

In the past few weeks I’ve had the ability to visit one of my favorite cities in the world, Chicago, on two separate occasions Ever since I was a child growing up outside of Chicago I loved the commotion and vibrance of the city streets, the infinite sights, sounds, smells, faces, and activities captivate me to this day. As I walk around in Chicago I feel a part of something bigger than myself, it is simply impossible to believe that my personal affairs are really that big of a deal amidst such a big place. No one is concerned about my job title, my salary, or my car…in the midst of the masses I simply become the guy standing wide-eyed staring out the train window who just so happens to be in your way to get off at the next stop. While in some ways crowds and masses of people (big cities) may reduce our self perceived individuality, they undoubtedly reinforce our undeniable humanity; we are all people living life together.

When I wander the city streets, I never feel like I become less of myself, or less of a person, I always feel like more of me than I do when left alone. When I’m around people, I’m humbled, I’m forced to live life on the ground level where there is no distinction or social stratification, there is simply life. There is no medium to gain political traction, there is no ladder to climb, there is just humanity. Despite our most grandiose views of our own importance, its amazing of how quickly the significance of self fades to nothing amidst the masses.

I don’t for a minute want to come across as if I am downplaying the importance of the individual, as I feel I have reiterated before, I am overwhelmed at the importance and attentiveness of God’s love for us and the value he places on us as individuals (see: People Shaped Spaces ), what I am saying is that it’s important to not let your individual specialness eclipse the fact that others have an equally significant specialness. As with everything so much of life is about balance, the balance between the value of self without becoming self absorbed and also the balance of acknowledging the importance of others without becoming self deprecating…neither compromising who we are for the sake of others, nor compromising the importance of others for the sake of ourselves.


GK Chesterton wrote that the “…it became evident that if a man would make his world large, he must make himself small. Even haughty visions, the tall cities, the toppling pinnacles are creations of humility. Giants that tread down forests like grass are the creations of humility. Towers that vanish upward above the loneliest star are creations of humility. For towers are not tall unless we look up at them, giants are not giants unless they are larger than we. All this gigantesque imagination, which is, perhaps the mightiest of the pleasures of man, is at bottom entirely humble. It is impossible, without humility, to enjoy anything - -even pride.”

Humility expands the way we look at the world and the way we look at each other, it opens our eyes to the bigness and the realness of the world around us. When we are arrogant, we become giants in our own minds, bigger than the mountains, the towers, and the world itself. We reduce the world around us to mere morsels, we live life aloft and high perches, seldom doing anything of charity or purpose. We become stagnant except for when our pity for the lowly world around us has reached a state of such disrepair that our arrogance (not love) motivates us to act, and for those of you who have ever been helped out of pity or pride instead of charity or love you know all too well how distinct a difference love-motivated action makes, and how ineffective pride-motivated action is.

By becoming a smaller part of our own realities our eyes are opened to the world and the possibilities of what it could be. If you consider life mathematically the equation would look something like this:

Me + Everything Else in the world = Reality (aka Life, aka Your World View)

Since Reality (aka Life) is in fact constant, this means that the more of Self (Me) that I have, the less room for everything else there is. Like a buffet, you can eat whatever you like from the vast selection, however if you fill up only on shrimp cocktail, you’ll have a vastly different experience than you might if you were to sample the selection of all the flavors. No matter what you chose you may end up full, but the quality of your experience will probably be vastly impacted by the choices you make.

Humility makes room for more by becoming less. The best part is by being less selfish, we don’t become less of ourselves. The less of me I have, the more room for Christ I have made, and he is willing to fill the space no matter how big I make it.

By understanding our true place in this life we are able to embrace the bigness of the world around us. By understanding we are small in the grand scheme of things we open our eyes and our hearts to a big world. Through embracing humility, the expanses of life are opened to us and our ability to enjoy and soak in all that this beautiful life has to offer expand all the more.

Taking a smaller role in my own world view,
CP
http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com/

Why we do what we do...

Why do we do what we do? We wake up, go to jobs, volunteer, work out, engage in relationships, but what drives us to act? Oftentimes life moves at a pace where it is easy to get sucked into a vortex of un-reflective, uncalculated, unfulfilling and undesired actions. There are a lot of seemingly predetermined paths which we end up on, and if we aren’t careful we end up far down a road which we never hoped for, only to be rattled awake by the fact that we are miserable and ineffective at everything we touch.

In any crime scene investigation, criminal drama, or detective movie one key element to solving the big mystery or getting a hold of a suspect and reaching a conviction is finding a motive. Forensically a motive attaches an action to a purpose, and links behavior to the underlying reasons of why a person decides or decided to do something. Motives are a powerful indicator for identifying a rationale, belief, or state of mind that generates action. Motives unlock the driving forces behind what we do, and can tell us much about the way we act and what we pursue.

Many of us perform periodic assessments of our actions, we carefully scrutinize our budgets, review business performance, assess our diets, look at our schedules, set goals and review our success rate at completing our targets; but what drives it all? Monitoring action is one thing, but scrutinizing action without considering the motive is an incomplete set of data which only provides limited insight in to the way we are living. It is not until we question the driving psychological and spiritual forces that spur us to action that we can have a complete and telling picture of whether or not our performance is on track.

Similar to a detective, we must regularly and without bias engage in a line of questioning whereby we seek out our motives. The line of question shifts from “what did I do?” to “why did I do what I did?” or “why am I doing what I am doing?” The shift from what to why, does not provide a hall pass us from scrutinizing our action, it simply changes the focus of our self reflection to probe deeper into our action to seek a deeper truth about how we’re performing. Most of our goals and pursuits are not inherently bad; however a bad motive can pervert even the noblest of undertakings. If we are financial diligent only out of an obsession of wealth, our financially conservative behavior is in vain. If we are careful to watch our diets and fitness plans only predicated upon insecurities about our image or an unhealthy preoccupation with physical appearance then we’ve taken a perfectly healthy action and allowed it to create an unhealthy foothold in our lives. Knowing the reasons why we do what we do, is an important barometer for understanding the condition of our hearts and minds, not just the performance of our hands. I think what we find is that the actions that are attached to good/healthy/pure motives are the things we do the best, and the things we enjoy doing the most.

I’m in the process of trying to become more disciplined in not simply questioning how I’m performing, but why I’m trying to perform at all. As I have started to look at the driving motivation for a lot of things in my life I have been forced to rebalance my life portfolio to protect myself from myself. There are numerous things that have historically appeared (from the outside) to be great pursuits, however, over time I’ve realized that many, if not all of my undertakings have been corrupted by my sinful nature. I have found that it is easy to allow an irrational pattern of thought to permeate a broad spectrum of behaviors, it is frighteningly simple to maintain the appearance of pure motive while truly living captive to pure psychosis.

We may haphazardly be better than average people, we may even end up being good people by popular opinion, but what is goodness devoid of motive or purpose. If you throw away a half eaten meal that feeds a bum, is your action different than someone who prepares food and goes out seeking to feed the hungry? We mustn’t coincidentally be and do good, we must live lives founded on intention. Living, loving, doing, going, being with purpose, and purpose is what our motives define. So as we move along in our pursuits, maybe it is time that we start taking some contemplative pause to ask “why?”. Is the way we act in relationships being motivated by fear or love? Is the way we perform being motivated out of a desire for acknowledgement and acceptance or by a spirit of reverence for our responsibilities and gifts? Are our desires founded on holiness, or are we simply masking the rottenness of our sin by doing and saying the right things, and trying to be the right kind of people for all the wrong reasons?

The beauty of it all is that as always, even the most tainted of hearts can become vessels for the work of God. Scripture is full of stories of the transformative power of Christ, not only in terms of what we do, but also, why we do. God has a vested interest in our hopes, dreams and desires, and it’s for good reason, our motives and motivation almost assuredly lead to action. If we truly desire changed lives, we have to start with changed hearts. If we truly want to be better people, spiritually, in work place, in homes, in relationships, in every arena, we must be people of purpose and intention, founded on and driven by love, seeking the glory of God not men, motivated, purposeful, effective.

Why do I write?,
CP
http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com

Critics & Creators

Disclaimer: this is a mixed bag of thoughts in regards to criticism I’ve been kicking around over the past weeks…probably a bit disorganized, but on my mind/heart nevertheless.

A few weeks back I got back to my hotel room and came across an interesting documentary that Jamie Kennedy put together on critics and hecklers. Regardless of your opinion of Jamie Kennedy and his work, he had a few profound points through his movie. Kennedy conducted a series of interviews with artists and critics to address the dynamics and impact that criticism can have on people, and the reason we feel the need to criticize. In a clear state of depression/defeatism as a result of the amount of abuse he had personally received over his work, it became clear that many artists held the same viewpoint that critics and being criticized can and often does becomes cripplingly destructive. Kennedy’s main point was that when we become critics we often fail to consider that we are in fact criticizing the creator as well as the creation…by irresponsibly taking on the role of critic, and recklessly doling out criticism we threaten not only the people, places, and things we criticize, but our ability to enjoy them.

Our culture and the internet has produced thousands of mediums for us to criticize and deconstruct most every facet of our daily lives. Restaurants, movies, music, art, actors, celebrities all have their online slaughterhouses where anyone with access to the world wide web, and the time and inclination can go pick to pieces anyone and anything they wish…and best of all, for those who are unable to find a specific forum to communicate all the world’s shortcomings, there is blogging to provide us with limitless possibilities of who/what we can deface.

I personally struggle greatly with being a critic. While I am a situational optimist, I can sometimes be a perfectionist (not proudly)… perfectionism amidst imperfection paves the way to a critical worldview (both in how we look at ourselves and how we look at everything else). I am very keen on my own shortcomings, and I often use self criticism to try to become a better person and better at the things I do. However, the process of being self critical often can slowly creep its way into the way we look at others and the world around us. Criticism in its very nature is deconstructive, it takes the whole and breaks it into pieces to figure out what works and what doesn’t…the problem is that most of the time criticism simply stops at the deconstruction and leaves the world fragmented and broken.

While criticism is deconstructive, creation in its nature is constructive. Creation and creativity takes pieces and puts them together, it puts color on a blank canvas, it breathes life where there was none. Critic and the creator are typically contrary in nature.

I am confident that when Michelangelo was painting the Sistine Chapel he most certainly made one or two wayward brush strokes, yet like the great master painter he was, he worked even the unintentional slips of the wrist into his master design. The “mistakes” are certainly there…it is our choice whether we’ll focus our energy on enjoying the creation, or peering through the critic’s lens to try to find some miniscule flaw.

When we become critics, we attempt to take power from the creator and the process of creation and make it our own. Criticism is a power play; it is about trying to make something ours which is not. And when we enter the power struggle we end depreciating the value of other’s and ourselves.

It is interesting to me that God during creation played the role of both critic and creator, he spoke life into being, and deemed it good. He put it all together, looked at it carefully and said “This is good stuff!”, and he had the exclusive right to do so. Sin entered the world via a critic who did not have the authority to provide any commentary on creation, in the garden, the serpent was not enamored by the vastness and perfection of God’s work, rather, he fixated on a singular shortcoming, the fact that there were a few trees whose fruit was off limits. The power play worked, criticism took focus off the things that were significant and real to that which was insignificant and valueless…in doing so we ended up with less not more, a cheaper broken reality, a reality distracted from the glory of creation. (Luckily the creator didn’t stop creating and in our brokenness and deadness he breathed life a second time through the birth, death and resurrection of his son…the ultimate work of the final authority.)

So what are we to do in a world so rich in critical feedback, in a society that demands perfection, in a culture where “good enough” is never in fact “good enough”, how are we to respond in the face of the of this world’s cynicism? We mustn’t be so naïve to think the we are impervious to the critic’s snare, for criticism is virally contagious and a miserable affliction…just think if NOTHING were ever good enough to enjoy, how miserable EVERYTHING must be, this is the critics plight.

The reality is that we are only susceptible to the extent we believe that the critic does in fact hold some power to make a determination of our worth…the further detached we are from the creator, the more we will be detached from the source of our value, and the more subjected and beaten down we will become.

It’s amazing what can happen to the way you see the world when we depart from criticism and move to affirmation. We learn to love new friend’s, we learn to love old friends in better ways. Instead of dwelling on the ever so small things that divide us we can focus on the large things that unite us, the world is opened before us, and it is good. We embrace and emphasize the fact that we are imperfect, that we need grace. Most importantly, we keep the power and our definition of worth with the one to whom it belongs, the creator of all things.

We’ve got a choice on how we let this world effect us, and it’s a hard line to draw. To be honest I don’t know how it’s all supposed to play out, I just realize that there are a lot of folks out there who try to steal our joy, to break us down, all for the purpose of making themselves feel more elevated and empowered. Our best weapon is love, our best defense is confidence in Christ, our hope is that we do not live for the approval of men…I’m trying my best these days to be in the camp of creative affirmation, the more I try the more good I find to affirm and enjoy around me.

Making lemonade,
CP
http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com/

Fragments

It goes without saying that life is full of surprises, I guess the reality is that life itself is one gigantic surprise. No man has any idea what a day may bring, we of course have our expectations, but nothing is for certain. Even if we were to confine ourselves in a room to try to seek shelter from the unexpectedness that lurks about in the real world, even still we cannot hide from the reality of illness and our nature. By making certain choices we may limit the magnitude and frequency of life’s little surprises, but the reality is that we are in control of a very small fragment of our own lives.

A coach of mine once told me you can only worry about the things you can control, this is a piece of wisdom I tap into and remind myself of on a regular basis. So many elements in life hinge on infinite variables that are beyond our influence and it is no doubt that this can be frustrating. Like running a race chained to 100 blindfolded strangers, you can try as hard as you want, but your progress will have much more to do with your ability to make something happen with the elements that you’ve been attached to than it will with your ability simply to do things.

Over the years I’ve found that my deepest moments of personal frustration, de-motivation, and futility have mostly come about when I’m trying to control the fragments of my life that really fall outside the scope of my influence. A tremendous amount of unproductive energy can be applied towards trying to change or control things that we have no ability or business changing and controlling.

The business world uses engagement letters to define the scope, or areas of responsibility, in agreements between a person providing a service and a person receiving a service. Each “engagement” sets boundaries to define where the sphere of influence, responsibility, and control stops; additionally there is often an objective, or purpose that is typically defined. One thing however is missing, that is the way in which the objective will be met while all the while staying within the scope of the agreement…purpose and power are defined, process is not.

It doesn’t really surprise me that Christ commissioned his followers in the same way. We were provided a boundary for what we control and influence and an objective to pursue…the way we operate within the constructs of those things is entirely up to us. Of course there are lots of guidelines to help optimize our pursuits and there is grace for when we wander beyond those guidelines.

The scope of our serviceh agreement to God is simple, direct, and unmistakable.

• Our purpose: Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength; love people like you love yourself
• Our Scope (what we control): the way we love and live to convey the purpose above.

Each day I’m reminded of how little I truly influence and control. I can’t control someone being rude, I can’t control my flight being delayed, despite my best efforts I can’t control really much of anything in my life. All I can control is the way I love people, the way I show people I love Christ, and the way people I love them…that’s it. When we simplify our scope in life we are empowered to do more, and to do it more effectively. Our approach to the uncontrollable wild world around us is changed not because we believe we can change it and make it something it is not, but because we accept it as it is and we don’t try to make it something that it will never be. In turn we are able to do great things because we learn to operate in the throes of reality as real people, making real change.

Often times in life we’re left with a lot of brokenness and a lot of fragments purely due to the fact that we live in a broken world, the brokenness and troubles of life are again outside of our contol. Our objective is neither to put the pieces back together, nor is it to try to change the pieces of our fragmented lives, but rather it is to take the pieces of our fragmented lives and do our best with what we have to convey LOVE. The objective is defined, the scope of control is narrow, the process of how we pursue those things is up to us.

A few weeks back I ended up watching part of the Para-Olympic games and was reminded that we are afforded a lot of choices as people when it comes to how we deal with this fragmented, broken world. A lot of the athletes I saw had pretty tragic stories, car accidents, birth defects, war related injuries, yet instead of dwelling on the brokenness of their lives and focusing on tragedy these people were focused on the fact that they have a life left to live.

It is the same in our lives, while we cannot control much of what happens to us, we can control the way we chose to deal with that which we cannot control.

Personally, I acknowledge that the more narrow my scope, the more effective I am. I am in the process of making sure I’m worried only about the simple things in my life that I control, and in doing that I’m learning to shift focus away from the infinite number of things that are outside of my realm of influence and towards the few that I do control.

Simplifying Daily,

CP

http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com

People Shaped Spaces

I am a huge fan of Birthdays, not necessarily my own, but I love the idea of celebrating the uniqueness of an individual, the fact that though they personally had little to do directly with their birth, that the fact that they were born, is actually a truly remarkable thing. Of all the spiritual/theological concepts that are hard to swallow, I think many would claim that creation or the age old question of “How did we get here?” is a big one, if not one of the biggest. While I am fully aware the wide disparity of opinions on the origins of life, I would ask that for a moment, regardless of where you stand on the topic that you could briefly consider the implications of being created. I am not asking for anyone to abandon a scientific viewpoint on the topic, for I feel that there are many scholars who have breached the topic at length and far greater depth than I would ever, however, if we could for only a moment consider the deeper implications of life, and life created with purpose, or life as a part of a design and our part in it, we might take a new and refreshed viewpoint on what it is that we’re all really doing here on earth.

Back to birthdays…one of the things that I’ve become increasingly aware of over the years is how amazing the mosaic of situations, locations, relationships, and circumstances of our lives truly are. If we were even remotely able to understand even a portion of the expanses of creation I think we’d all be utterly dumbfounded, and I do not mean creation in a natural or elemental standpoint, I mean creation personally and relationally.

To think that prior to the creation of time and place, there was a purpose, a plan. In the plan, everything was crafted out, every detail, every moment. Like a puzzle, it was all placed together perfectly, each little piece contributing to the larger whole. In that puzzle, in the plan, was us, people…individuals who from the beginning, and even before the beginning, were a part of the bigger story.

When the foundations of time were laid, regardless of what you believe about yourself and your circumstances, the Lord above thought it best that YOU, and only YOU, an individual, be placed into the puzzle, exactly as you are, exactly where you are. There was a YOU shaped vacancy that needed to be filled, distinctly and uniquely by YOU.

There were relationships that from the beginning needed a YOU. There were people who distinctly needed a smile that would only work if it came from YOU. There were jokes that needed YOUR laugh. There were tough moments that needed YOUR tears. There were friends that would need YOUR shoulder to cry on, and only YOUR shoulder that would do. There were children that needed YOU as parents; there were parents that needed YOU as children. There were bosses and jobs, which needed YOU as an employee. There were songs that needed YOU to sing them. There were sunrises, and sunsets, that needed to be savored by YOU, and YOU alone. There were congregations and communities that had YOU shaped spaces that needed to be filled by YOU.

Friends, the uniqueness and purposefulness of US as people is something that we must not overlook. While the world would have us believe that we as individuals are nothing special, God above couldn’t feel more differently, and to think that we’re not special, and that the people around us are not of equal and dire importance is an insult and a tragedy. Both the trivial and extraordinary moments of our lives, were distinctly made for us, and us for them. To ignore the gravity of US, is to disregard the gravity of our creator, our design, our purpose…

Now there is one other important thing to remember, and that is that our uniqueness, our individuality is a part of that great mosaic. When the pieces come together they create a picture of God’s great love, his sovereign divinity, is perfect plan…his grace, his creation, his redemption, and his invitation to be a part of it all. It is us in the context of him, and not the other way around. If we take the fundamental concept of self, and strip it of the context of the greater significance of the plan to which we were placed in, we become hedonists, egotists, self-worshiping, self-indulging hopeless swine. When we extract ourselves from the greater picture, we cheapen life…though some would have us believe the opposite.

From the beginning, there was a YOU shaped space that needed filling…and it needed to be filled as a part of a plan for the ultimate glory of God. After all, happiness and enjoyment are not real until they are shared. The creator has carefully kept this in mind, as he wanted to share his mosaic, his purpose with YOU. The spaces we fill are an invitation to get in on the action, to enjoy God, his purpose, his plan, his beautiful creation work. Of course many of our daily spaces are far from sexy, but they are our spaces none the less, and they need filling, so whether we’re gas station attendants in Sandusky, OH, or Presidents in Washington, DC…there is work to be done filling the spaces of our lives.

Filling my Space,
CP
http://Chrispanoff.blogspot.com

Memorials

I am a huge believer in living life in the right tense, the present, I know I have touched on the topic in various points in my writings and it’s a consistent theme no doubt. I guess I’ve come to realize that there are huge risks to neglecting to live life where we are. Our realm of influence is small, and we lack the ability to dictate much control over even the minutest areas in our world which we deem significant. That being said, the present tense requires a proper context of history.

One universal cultural phenomenon is the creation of memorials, or things to help us remember the weighty foundations upon which our world was build. For our nation, its is our flag that memorializes our freedom, our capital buildings that memorialize the principles in which our forefathers built this country, it is walls and burial sites that memorialize the price that has been paid to protect the freedoms which were so desperately sought long ago. For the Christian faith, it is the cross that singularly memorializes the price that was paid in Christ’s redemptive work and it is creation as a whole that cries out to remember the creator. Memorials give our present tense an adequate sense of our history, a history which if we are attentive to can give us a context for which today exists, and a reminder of the faithfulness of God’s promise to us as his people (if we so choose to accept).


Memorials are like mile markers in our lives, they give us a sense of not only where we are but also how far we’ve come, and often times how far we are yet to travel. History is a GPS of sorts, in that it can help us to navigate our current circumstances much more efficiently and effectively. After all, how am I to trust in the faithfulness of Christ if I have no context for the good and patient work he is performing in my life? Relationships are built on history, they are not formed instantly, they do not bud overnight, but rather they are proven through time and trials; a relationship with Christ is no exception to this rule.


A few years ago I took some time to construct some memorials in my life, to remember all that God had done, and all that God was doing. At the time I was at a crossroads, one of those, “what’s next in life?” moments, I realized that in order to get my bearings and ready my heart for whatever it was that God was in the process of doing, I needed to look back and see his work to remind myself that he is in fact faithful but looking what he has already done. A lot of people confuse faith for certainty, when in fact I believe that doubt is a healthy component of faith, and real faith is defined by action despite our doubts and fears. At the end of the process I had a long list of times where God had come through and delivered me in the truest sense of the word; his fingerprints were all over circumstances which I could not have survived on my own and on outcomes that I never could have dreamed of, let alone hoped for.


Recently I’ve been reminded of how blessed I am, both in the context of my past and my present, God is good. Many people seek firm “proof” of the Christian faith, what better proving ground than life itself. Salvation cannot be tested in a laboratory, nor can it be worked out in the sterile environments of the hypothetical, salvation is and must be proved in our lives. As I look back and see the landscape of my life scattered with Ebenezer stones, I am humbled, blessed, and reaffirmed. While I may not understand what is happening in the present tense, my history, my memorials give me context with which to confidently place my trust in the hands of my Father above. I am blessed, simply and completely, I have been taken care of in ways I could never have fathomed.


Regardless of what you believe, it’s impossible to strip where you are today from where you’ve been. It’s worth the time to set up stones of remembrance in your life, if they don’t come in handy today, they will soon. Furthermore, if all you see in your life is despair, hopelessness, and emptiness, maybe there is an opportunity for Christ to help you literally and figuratively reconstruct somethings.


So as I look back, I eagerly approach today, hoping to build more monuments for Christ, places for all men to look, see, and know that “here is the work of the Almighty”… and while I’m certain I fall short each day, a memorial life is what I seek for Christ’s glory, and it is yet another opportunity to be rebuilt in him.


Humbly yours,

CP

http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com/

Joy

Joy is neither a state of mind nor a feeling. Joy is not a result of the things around us. Joy is not a product of its conditions nor does it attempt to change the conditions in which it is subject to. Joy is not about wanting anything more, but it is also not about selling ourselves short. Joy is not pleasure, joy is not happiness. Joy is not self reliant, because real joy cannot be found in one’s self.

Joy is unmistakable, un-disguisable, and uncontainable.

Joy is not a verb, it’s not something we can do, joy is a reinvention of the way we see the world. Joy sees the world for all that the world truly is, but does not attempt to evade the brokenness and suffering that accompany this life. Joy, like love, endures and outlasts all things.

Joy is knowing that no matter what “today” looks like, “today” is a good day because today is an opportunity to know Christ more deeply, to love him more, and to share the good news with our friends.

Joy knows that no matter how bad today, this week, this month, this year…or even this lifetime may be…that Christ has redeemed this life completely. Joy constantly measures the world in the context of the great work that Christ completed on the cross.

Joy is the knowledge and true understanding that we were prisoners once, but we have been set free. Joy is the absolution of sin, guilt, and shame in our lives. Joy knows the cost that was paid, and knows the cost has been paid in full.

Joy is one of our first taste’s of heaven here on earth.

I’m glad to know the Joy that Christ affords; I miss it sometimes because I get caught up with “me” a whole lot, but it doesn’t take long to notice the vacancy left by Joy.

Joy has one source, and one source alone…he’s my rock and redeemer.

Joyful,

CP

http://chrispanoff.blogspot.com

Embracing the Great Adventure

When you strip life down to its core, it doesn’t seem to be all we expect does it? As children we idolize superheroes and princesses, and aspire to a life of world-saving, dragon slaying, and hopeless romancing. Yet it doesn’t take long for the glitter to fade, and eventually we’re all dealt realities cruel hand. We are quick to learn that this world is quite not the place that we as children expected it to be. But is the reality we are given all that different than the reality we hoped would be? Is our world truly empty of the adventures to which we aspired?

Life certainly isn’t fair, but neither is it boring, I think the reality of life just might take a little adjusting to. Part of our internal conflict as people (speaking personally) is entrenched in the fact that while we love adventure and the risk associated with it, yet we also desire stability and safety. Our human desires for excitement and variety are so often held in tension with our desires to be on stable ground, and being the uncompromising people that we are (or for certain that I am) we desire complete adventure to pair with safety…if the risk wasn’t risky it wouldn’t be exciting, but if risk presents certain death it then becomes foolish…finding the balance is quite paradoxical.

While we desire to summit the peaks of this life, we often fear the treacherous routes we must traverse. And while everyone’s “summits” may be different they are summits nonetheless and they are a part of our inner groaning for something beyond what this world has to offer.
It’s interesting as I am going through the process which may be described as “growing up”, how much I realize that life’s greatest adventures are seldom set in the exotic and extreme backdrops that the arts so adequately depict, but rather they are set in a reality far more ordinary, in a locale far simpler. Life’s constructs, for most of us, are built more often in the settings of work and home than they are in sports arenas, royal courts, and glorious battle. Instead of battling Goliath, we are fighting traffic in our morning commutes. Instead of a life driven by of capturing love and beauty, we are flung into jobs and workplaces that on the surface appear to be lacking even a thread of excitement contained in the stories we were read as children.

So what are we to do?

I would pose that the issues is not reality itself, but the way in which we perceive the real reality that we live. Even in life’s banal ordinary conditions are truly some great adventures, we mustn’t lose sight of this fact, for if we do, we will be cast into a plot where we’re nothing more than lemmings living lives devoid of passion, desire, and purpose.

There is a reason that Christ came to this world in humble circumstance, and lived a life that was very truly human. As it is said, Jesus made no compromise of his divinity while on earth, but also no compromise of humanity, he was fully God and fully man. Had Christ come and lived a life simply hovering above the realities of life as a human, how would we be able to follow his model for living? If the God of the universe’s ultimate act of love was to come to reality, shouldn’t we take this into consideration when viewing our own reality?

Through a variety of conversations and introspection, I’ve come to realize that the ordinary can be largely unappealing. However, the model that Christ sets forth is to be deeply extraordinary, while living in the astonishingly ordinary world. When we begin to embrace our lives and our work as embarking on a great adventure for Christ’s sake, the script takes new shape and the stories of our 9 to 5 lives are transformed into an adventure in a brave new world.

For me, I’m realizing all the more that my life is in fact a great adventure; I just need to be reminded of such with frightening regularity. While sometimes my circumstances feel a lot more like an episode of “Leave it to Beaver” than it does a bout with Apollo Creed, I need to remember that humanity and reality were Christ’s great adventure, so why should it not be mine. In embracing reality we may just find that our lives are quite amazing. Instead of romanticizing about all the summits we could be out conquering, we make diligent steps to summit the mountains we’re on.

I feel that a life of extraordinary-ordinariness is quite an aspiration, and I’m trying to be diligent in finding and thriving in all the simple adventures that are in front of me…which is proving to be quite an adventure in and of its self. We have the opportunity for a great reality, we simply must emerge ourselves deeper in it, as opposed to attempting to escape from it.

Embracing Today and all the adventure it brings,

CP

Chrispanoff.blogspot.com

Economic Crisis, Being Needy, & Maslow

Its amazing what happens to your world view when luxury is stripped out of the equation. While prosperous times are by no means a bad thing, for they certainly are a part of life’s seasons, they can however begin to blur the lines between necessity and vanity, what we want, and what we truly need.

The current economic “crisis” is doing quite an effective job of delineating between need and want, and is yielding embarrassing (but not surprising) results about our value system. There is of course no shortage of stomach churning news about how bad things are economically, and how bad they are expected to get, but worst of all is seeing the resulting impact of improperly defined need. It is pathetic if a person would go so far as to fake their own death, to avoid the facing the reality of falling short of their financial aspirations (see also: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/13/us/13plane.html ).

As much as we may try, it’s hard to not muddle need & desire; sometimes we want things so desperately and so deeply that they really feel like “needs”. When we stop thinking about day to day life in terms of mere survival, we begin to inflate the value of things we can otherwise do without. Below is Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, which was basically a psychological construct that ranks categorically what we as people need most and how we our priorities in terms of need dictate our world view. The bottom reflects the most essential things to life (need), the higher you go on the pyramid, the less dire the need is. What you may find, is that we all probably have inverted this structure in some major ways.

Something I’ve had reaffirmed over the past few months, is that my needs are quite simple, but slightly different that Maslow’s structure. My foundation starts with Salvation, above all I need Jesus, I need the presence and constant hand of my savior in my life. God is the gatekeeper to all my other needs, salvation yields confident reliance that all my needs will be met, and that all I really “need” is a healed and contrite heart. Only through an honest realization of my true depravity can I grasp my real need for a savior. When we begin to take seriously how incapable we are to handle even the marginal things independently, we can firmly attest all the more to how desperate our need really is to be saved.

The strange contortion of it all is that the more I realize that I NEED Christ, the more I truly and deeply WANT his intercession into every waking moment of my day. My need for God is self perpetuating; I need him more each day. I’m not sure what happens to the shape of the above pyramid when need and want coincide in Christ, however, I am confident that the need/desire for Christ becomes all consuming and the singular focus of all our efforts. The best part is that when we throw away Maslow’s construction, and transition to compete reliance on Christ, we end up never NEEDING and never WANTING anything more that we have, Christ is sufficient.

I would imagine that the hierarchy goes from a 2 dimensional triangle to a three dimensional sphere. Sphere’s have total balance, and if Christ is our singular focus he is all we need and he is all we want. When Christ is what we want, we never need any thing more.

Needily Yours,
CP
http://Chrispanoff.blogspot.com

Thy Sea is so Great

It’s interesting to me how God can use circumstance and/or coincidence to remind us of his constant hand in our lives. A friend of mine says it like this, “Coincidence is God’s fingerprints on our lives.” It couldn’t be more true, and it couldn’t be more real. Attentiveness to God in all of our circumstances and through all of our coincidences opens new doors to engaging our heavenly father, and when we become students of our surroundings there is much to learn about the workings and caring manner which God walks with us and protects us.

I guess it might go without saying that this particular posting is actually a derivative of a journal writing I wrote a little more than three years ago. In a fortunate collision of some current circumstance and reminiscence, I was drawn back to re-read an entry that marked a point of revelation in the way I viewed God, especially as it pertains to how I view myself in relationship with God.

When John F. Kennedy was President, he kept a wooden placard on his desk in the oval office. The placard was given to him by Admiral Hyman Rickover, a naval commander credited with being the father of the nuclear navy, a man whom my grandfather personally knew and worked closely with for much of his professional life. It wasn’t until about three years ago that I had any idea that such a ornament existed, but the words engraved upon the simple token of appreciation gifted to President Kennedy struck my with a level of profound depth for which I am increasingly grateful. Their proverbial wisdom has reminded me often of the foundation in which I am grounded.

The little wooden plaque bore a humble appearance but at least to me it seemed to carry a profound weight. On it was engraved this, the Breton Fisherman’s Prayer, which reads.

“O God, Thy sea is so great, and my boat is so small.”

Oddly, I only this week found out that my grandfather was given the same plaque by Admiral Rickover. I can only wonder if the wisdom of the engraving ever meant anything to him…but the mystery only serves to open my heart and mind to the possibility of how big God really is…coincidence, fingerprints, God’s hand.

Sometimes the smallest of seeds sprout the biggest of trees, and for me this simple prayer, this simple statement of faith caught me at a time when I desperately needed to not only hear its truth, but practice its wisdom. The poignancy was like a stiff jab that caught me across the chin, and so now years later the tiny seed has sunk its roots deep, and the Breton prayer is a regular keepsake that I am reminded of when my life is experiencing rough seas and I’m not so sure my small boat can make it.

Three years ago when I first saw the prayer, I was at a place where it felt that just about everything was falling apart around me, it seemed that no matter how hard I tried, nothing, absolutely nothing, turned out as planned. I was straining at the oars, desperately trying to go my own direction, when clearly God had other things in store, instead of steering me out of the storm, he wanted me in it. It was as if I had boarded the wrong train and had fallen asleep, only to wake up at the end of the line, miles from where I wanted to be, stranded with no clue how to get home. God taught me volumes through that challenging phase, and through it he certainly helped my faith become much more “seafaring”, and much more capable to weather the future storms that inevitably came (…and continue to come).

Our circumstances do much to ready us for what God’s doing, whether they be good or bad, circumstance frames in context the way we see and seek God. Circumstances can be the difference between a seed that sprouts, and the seed that withers in the sun. Circumstance is the preparation of the canvas by a masterful artist.

In embracing the Breton Prayer, we rightfully surrender ourselves to the sea, knowing that however big out boats may be, that in fact, they are quite small. And we rightfully acknowledge God as the owner and master of us, our boats, and all that is in, above, below and beyond the sea. We cast sail, trusting simply and completely in nothing more and nothing less than God’s promised provision and care over us. And in the moments when seas get rough, we can confidently sail on knowing that no single thing governs Gods gracious tide more than his abounding love for us…and whether by storms or by the peace of a still sea, all we know and all we see are rightfully his to command.

When I was a boy, my father and I would go on adventures together, he would often take me places or have me do things that at the time were utterly terrifying. When I lacked the will to go further, I was left no choice but to resist my Father’s seemingly reckless behavior. I remember so clearly my Dad asking me at these moments “Do you trust me?”, often the answer in my head was “NO!”, but I knew in some way that my Dad had only the best intentions for me, and would never put me in harm’s way if there was not a greater benefit. Looking back on some of those terrifying moments, it just so happens they are some of my fondest memories with my Dad, and some of the greatest experiences of my childhood…it just took a little fear, and a little faith to get there.

I guess it is no surprise that our Father in heaven has some spectacular adventures in store, yet often it seems that in order to get in on God’s action, we have to head into some treacherous waters. And it is in those times when we must know and trust God’s good heart for us, his deep love, and that he does not wish harm upon us even in the slightest, but rather he wants us to taste the fullness and richness of who he is. I feel that for every storm of anxiety, fear, heartache and doubt, I learn to taste and see new rich flavors of who God is, I trust and love him more, and yet I fear the vastness and mystery of his sea no less, maybe I’m just becoming a more seasoned sailor.

To close, here is the last paragraph from me in a storm at sea (figuratively) three years ago…If I have learned anything over the past three years, it is that God undoubtedly is there in our storms, in really really real kinds of ways…through my storms I’ve learned to be a better sailor in God’s great sea.

“At the end of the day, none of the things that are making my life difficult are gone, nor does it seem like they will be gone any day soon. While I can not understand the course of time and the events that take place between the hours and days of our lives as they pass along, I can feel comfortable in my lack of understanding. If we knew what was really going on, serving God would require no faith and no trust. I am confident that God allows us to get to and often takes us to place where we are left to question, ”What are you doing?” only to be met with his simple reply, “Do you trust me?” I know that right now there is much going on which I cannot understand, however, I can stand at the shore of this great sea, and trust that the hand that has unsettled the waves, will also keep me afloat in the midst of the storm.” – Me, Sept 22, 2005

If it takes storms to let me see, know, and love God more each day, then I pray that he takes me to sea. And I pray that if it takes a storm for you to see the bigness and realness of a God that loves you, then I pray that you would never know a still sea.

Safe Sailing,
CP

Chrispanoff.blogspot.com

It Never Lasts...

Over the years I have come to appreciate cherish some profoundly simple moments, and simple places. One place I have found that is a great reminder of my place in this world, and God’s rightful place on his throne above is the airport. I believe that there is no place in which we become quite as human, and there is no place at least for me where I get such a clear grip of where I really am.

I love gazing out the window of a plane to look down on the world below, I think in a lot of ways it helps me to be realistic about the size of what’s important in my life. From 30,000 feet, no problem can be that big of a deal…it all gets reduced to a scale that seems so much more manageable.

I love watching people navigate all the lines and protocols at the airport. Protocol strips us all of our worldly “rank”, and evens the playing field. No matter who you are or how much you make, your shoes are coming off, you’ll present your ID, and you’re going to play by the rules to get to where you need to go. It’s not negotiable, we all are reduced to the same level (despite what we think about ourselves).

I love imagining the lifetimes that somehow all get to meet and the same intersection on a 2 hour flight from Atlanta to Newark. I love knowing that God’s level of intimate involvement, love for, and care over everyone is the same no matter what aisle, seat, or flight we’re on. Sometimes it just helps me to understand how big he is when I remember he’s got the whole world in his hand, not just my silly little life.

Airports, as bad as they can be, do much good for me, particularly when they help me to reconsider what really matters, and to what extent the things that matter, matter. They help me be and stay in the present tense; they help me live where I am.

Like the seasons, nothing lasts. Sometimes I find myself being all too concerned with what was, or what is yet to be, and I miss out on so much. I spend my Summer readying for harvest, I spend my Fall, stocking up for Winter, I spend my Winter bitching about snow and cold temperatures, I spend my spring regretting my Winter…I mean its not a literal sequence of how my life works, but the point is that there is so much out there that we have to keep us from savoring where we are. I have missed the colors, scents, and sights at many times in my life. I am learning to slow down, I am trusting that the quantity of time I get largely isn’t up to me, but the quality of my time here can be impacted by my choices…one of which being pace.

Time, just like anything is a gift from God, to abuse it whether by carelessness, or selfishness, through hurry or laziness, is treacherous.

None of it lasts, and when we come to embrace this fact as truth, we learn to gently embrace each moment…always being seasoned with the right amounts of past and future to give the present a succulent sweet aroma in our lives. Ultimately we end up having our pleasures and problems all in the right size…as opposed to being the focal point of the dialogues of our lives they become footnotes, and we begin to focus on the real story…the story of God’s love being worked out in our lives.

I think fear is one of the greatest poisons that distracts our priorities…fear either hurries us or makes us stagnant…enjoyment, in balance, is the only way to hold the present tense in proper reverence…

Using the food metaphor…if life is an all you can eat buffet, I’m the guy who eats himself sick, and dies of an arterial blockage 30 years before his time…fear leads to eating disorders, either we gorge ourselves or starve from not partaking the food of life.

I have been thinking a lot recently about how things change in life, what we learn from that change, and how we choose to respond to change.

Understanding the concept of being temporary has substantial implications on our lives. When we come to embrace the concept of transience of our circumstances, we ready our hearts for change and we loosen our grips on this world. The reality is that it never lasts…no matter what it is. Pain, pleasure, wealth, famine, beauty, youth, popularity, social accomplishment, professional accolades…we are promised that it all fades to nothing. When we come to view any of our earthly conditions as permanent we experience an extreme detachment from all that is holy, and we destine our selves for a place of hopelessness. Whether we subscribe to the permanence of evil, or the permanence of good on this earth; assigning permanent qualities to impermanent things communicates a hugely out of balance view of this world.

When we start to embrace that all that we have is borrowed time, we begin to live coexist with the delicate balance that is living in the here and now…the present tense. Some would conclude this concept of fleeting existence to be disturbing or depressing, but when held in the context of Christ it liberates us in so many ways. We no longer become slaves do finances or cultural believe, instead we enable ourselves to indulge deeply and richly in a life focused on the now, founded on God’s work, and honoring and enjoying God forever (amen).

I feel we all benefit from assessing the attributes of those things we deem to posses permanence, and upon careful consideration, we’ll have a clear picture of all that matters in our lives, and where we put our faith. If at the end none of it is left standing then I guess it might be time to rethink the way we live, the way we love, and the way we spend our present tense.

Personally, I’m thankful to know that whether or prosper or am in despair, that none if it lasts and that all that matters is the love of Christ for me, and my life’s purpose, to honor him.

I’m eagerly anticipating living my life at the right pace for 2009, neither starving nor over-indulging at the buffet of life, just savoring what I have, and knowing that this too shall pass.

Paced,

CP