The past few weeks have been an utter whirlwind for me, on top of a mixed bag of personal things, I am heading into a major intersection in my life. Tomorrow afternoon I board a plane to move to London for the next six months for my job, and despite all the eager anticipation I have had for the forthcoming changes I have been a little fixated on the past. I haven’t been having regret or remorse in any fashion, but rather a sincere heart of thankfulness for all the Lord has afforded me in my life.
Intersections are a tremendous opportunity to regain our bearings, realign our focus, and to make sure the course we’re traveling is in fact heading the right direction. As I’ve been pondering what lies ahead, I’ve found that in front of me is nothing but uncertainty, I have no place to live, I’ve never been to London actually, I don’t really know anyone there, the only thing I’m certain of is that I’m going. As much as I’ve tried to imagine what my life will look like in the coming weeks, all my thoughts produce an ever-blank canvas and this is what makes it such a glorious adventure. I heard it said in a film I saw recently that the very element that makes adventure, by nature, an adventure is the presence of uncertainty. Only when there is fear can we be brave, and only when there is uncertainty can we trust.
Despite my best efforts to assure the footing of what is to come, I’ve found that there is really nothing in my hands that I can do fortify confidence in the days ahead. So rather, I’ve had an opportunity to look at where I’ve been and God’s rich provision over the course of my history with him despite some of my glorious attempts to mess it up whether on purpose or on accident. As I’ve surveyed the landscape of the past years I’ve seen a vast expansiveness covered by the grace of a loving benevolent God who loves me so dearly and has provided for me and protected me at every turn. I’ve see a cast of characters who he knew would love me well, and have spurred me on to charge boldly forward in this life. I’ve seen valley’s that at moments seemed so dark, drowned by the mountains of love and redemption. And I really don’t think I’m overdramatizing the magnitude, if anything there are probably millions of things I’ve missed , the little moments of goodness and sovereignty that God has woven into my life each day. And it is with this confidence that the large uncertainty of the adventure ahead dwindles from a mountain to a molehill.
What’s amazing is that in the context all this the uncertainty is no more certain and I am no more brave, but instead I’m afforded confidence not in what is ahead, but confidence in the fact that no matter what it is God’s provision for me will sustain me. With the great adventures of this life we are seldom given the benefit of “knowing” but instead we are given the opportunity to know God, and walk with him. It is perhaps sad that I must continually have my grip on this world and this life loosened, but maybe it’s simply testament to how much we try cling to of this world. And maybe that is my provision for today, to have a lighter load so that I may move more nimbly down the path ahead.
The other thing I cannot neglect to mention is the impact I have seen over the past few weeks of simple, purposeful love. It is sometimes hard to see the huge ways that love changes this world, and for whatever reason I’ve been both reaffirmed in the power of being loved by so many great people, and what meaningful work it really is to love people genuinely and faithfully in Christ no matter what may come.
I, in my own opinion, could not be a more blessed man, yet somehow the riches of God’s grace, mercy, and love seem to surprise me more each day, and it is in that love that I can confidently go forward into all the uncertainty that lay ahead.
Richly loved,
CP
