Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Salvation Mountain :: Painted Clay


             


   Two years ago I had an idea.  It wasn’t necessarily a very good idea, but for some reason this particular thought of mine wouldn’t seem to go away.  I can’t recall what specifically triggered it or from where it came, maybe it was some photographs I had seen, maybe it was a quote from a movie, maybe it was some reading I had done, but nevertheless I decided that it would be a good idea to go visit Salvation Mountain.  I think it’s important to note that I have approximately a thousand of these types of thoughts a day, so to have something be so inexplicably persistent does bear some significance.  I believe God often works through the strange desires of our hearts, I believe he nests in each of us a very individual set of things that serve as beacons to find him. In my life, the times I most readily find God are those when I’ve taken the time to listen (and more importantly to act) and trust that the simple and strange things of my heart are good.

                Now Salvation Mountain isn’t necessarily an ordinary tourist destination, in fact every time I’ve mentioned it to friends over the past months I’ve had to try to explain what it is.  I’ve heard Salvation Mountain described as everything from an art fixture to a shrine, and while on the surface those classifications seem fitting, I guess I’ve come to learn that it might be something more.  In its simplest form Salvation Mountain is nothing more than painted adobe and other assorted debris arranged with care in the middle of the desert.  In honesty, I expected nothing more, however, in the aftermath of my visit I have come to see the profound way that a simple man used the things that this world has discarded and transformed them into a testament of his love.

As a brief history, Leonard Knight started a project outside of Niland, CA back in the Early 80’s transforming a small chunk of the dessert into a painted monument to God’s love.  Knight, born in 1931 as the fourth of six children in Burlington Vermont certainly had his fair share of life before he moved to Niland.  Drafted at the age of 20 he served in the Korean war.  He worked painting cars.  He taught Guitar lessons.  In 1967, however, while visiting his sister in California, Leonard’s life took a turn, he met Jesus.  At the age of 35, by himself in a van, Leonard prayed that the Lord might enter his life, and that prayer was answered.  Ignited by his new passion, and some strange (maybe even divine) inspiration, Leonard spent the next 14 years of his life working to patch together a giant hot air balloon with the sinners prayer embroidered on the side, it was the same prayer that changed his life, and he wanted to share it with the world.  After a long road, a road that I could only imagine contained miles of fabric, Leonard’s efforts were frustrated.  That same long road had somehow landed Leonard in Niland, but the dead end of one road would turn out to be a marvelous intersection pointing a new course towards a new journey.  Leonard had intended to stay behind in Niland only for a week to make a “small statement” before returning to his home at the time in Arizona.  With little else besides some cement and paint, his project began.  Needless to stay, that week in 1984 extended up through this last December when Leonard was moved to a home for health reasons.  Leonard made his small statement, and it stands 4 stories tall in the desert, painted bright, a sign of true life in a place marked otherwise only by desolation.  If you ever go out to the Mountain, you’ll certainly see that there are a wide variety of themes, everything from birds to bible verses to hearts, and while the subject matter itself does seem to lack an aesthetic continuity there is no doubt that Leonard has effectively used his medium to communicate his message.  In a single word, the message is love.

                For some reason since the New Year I had a growing sense of urgency to go visit Salvation Mountain, so I made a promise to myself the next time I set foot in California I’d use whatever means necessary to make it out to the desert.  Two weeks ago that opportunity presented itself, so I caught a late flight from San Francisco to Palm Springs so as to have a somewhat reasonable launching point to make the two hour trek East to Niland.  I got in late and planned to start early the next morning to try to beat the heat.  As it turns out the desert gets hot in the middle of the summer, so I figured it might help me enjoy my visit if I could avoid exposure to 115 degree heat.

                If you were to look up Niland on a map desolate doesn’t really do it justice.  Heading East from Palm Springs there is little besides the coast of the Salton Sea that stands between you and Niland.  The landscape is flat and vacant but for the spattering of rickety telephone poles plotting the course of the rail line that runs well into the horizon and on towards Yuma.  Along the way were maybe 3 or 4 small roadside stores, 2 or 3 of which have the appearance of having long since been vacated.  It’s no wonder the Navy Seals have picked the desert lands outside of Niland to host their land warfare training operations…if they need land, Niland’s got plenty of it, and not much of anything else.

As I started my drive, signs of life became increasingly sparse, the pharmacies and shopping markets disappeared and nothing was left but open road.  Needless to say it was a quiet drive, I actually came as a surprise when I came upon other motorists at all.  Part of me desired to wave the other cars to the side of the road to point them back west for surely, in my mind, they must have been lost.  Before long the roads were clear, so with my imagination sitting shotgun, I savored the still desert morning and wondered what I might find down this bleak desert highway.

                After spending an hour traveling along the coast of the Salton Sea, I arrived in Niland.  The town comes and goes in a blink, I can only surmise that the there might me a  mere 4 or 5 streets in total that compose the quant oasis.   As I turned through town and set out to cross over the train tracks that had guided my journey east, the roads were marked as having been closed.  I paid no mind only because I had no other choice, only one road leads to the mountain, so despite my hesitation to proceed I had no other options.  The night before my arrival a flash flood had moved through the area, and as I passed through town and made my way towards the mountain the roads were littered with old tires and debris washed out from the desert by the rain.  As I wove through the mounds of washed out sand and trash that covered the road, the mountain appeared in the distance and there it stood a small statement in the desert standing tall.

                I wish that I had made the journey sooner and had the pleasure to meet Leonard, I had so many questions I wanted to ask, really I just wanted to hear his story, but part of me knew his story still lived out there in the lonely painted hills even though he did not.  And so I was left only to imagine, to wonder what love might have compelled such a task.  In his absence a group of caretakers have adopted the mountain to protect Leonard’s legacy, a couple from Portland was on duty when I crossed the rusty gate’s threshold to approach the mountain.  They were moved by Leonard’s dream and decided to leave their home on the coast for a life in the desert, I’m sure that they would struggle to explain why, but maybe that same persistent nudging that drew me to the mountain found a way to pull their heartstrings as well…and they simply listened. 

My self guided tour lasted no more than 30 minutes, because frankly there just wasn’t more to see, but as I wandered around I couldn’t help but think about the big love, the love of Jesus that compels such beautiful acts of insanity in men.  The mountain had sustained some damage from the rains, and the desert’s harsh climate had certainly left a mark on its brightly painted surface, but I think that, in and of itself, is a profound statement, maybe in a way it’s God’s contribution to Leonard’s work.  Despite the wear and tear, the colors still were vibrant, the theme was still clear, the small statement to me now appeared much more like a battle cry than it did a whisper in the desert.

On the drive back to “civilization” I turned off the radio, and sat quietly meditating on what love means in my life, somehow the road back to what we know as “life” seemed ironic coming from that place.  In some way Los Angeles now seemed far more desolate than Niland, despite the ready appearance of life, the sparseness of that crazy kind of love rendered much of the landscape I now saw lifeless.  On the surface Salvation Mountain is unspectacular, it might never be heralded in the same regard as the Vatican or the other relics of faith that we find around the world.  Ultimately though, I think I’m coming to understand that love is far more like painted clay in the desert than it is gold on a steeple.  It’s real, it’s tough, it’s seldom what we expect, but when we hold it in the context of the hands that shape it we may just come to understand it as beautiful.

So much of what we believe about the secular constructs of love is built by lofty polished notions, they’re fun to look at and dream about, they inspire awe, but they are flawed in that often “self” is the center of the way execute loving each other.  I think we desire love to be a thing that is shiny and new looking, but real love is battle worn and its precious characteristics it is seldom made from gold.  Jesus was born in a stable, he was a man of humble means, and he lived a life immersed in an ordinary world made of “clay”.  When I think about what love is really meant to be and the way I believe I’m supposed to be living it out, I would hope that it bears some resemblance to Leonard’s work through the Mountain.  I believe love is a hard labor, I believe it is messy; I believe that on the surface it can appear unspectacular, and in its finest moments it makes no sense.  For those of us who know it however, the only thing that truly makes no sense is to love any other way.  I know that there are times in my life that I feel like I’m living in the desert and it seems like I’m a bit crazy, but part of the miracle is that the love of Christ compels us to those places not as lonesome travelers but as companions of HIS towards some greater end.  And while life might leave us a little worn down from the harsh conditions of this world, I do believe that love’s colors posses a resilience that shine brightly even despite the foreboding conditions we face.  Even though the “small statements” of sacrifice, steadfast, crazy love may go understated on the surface, they have an affinity to create real change and they possess longevity quite unlike anything I know.

When I think about Salvation Mountain, I can’t help but think about God’s love, I think this would make Leonard happy to know.  What’s stranger is that there’s a God who loves me enough to make a guy like Leonard who is crazy enough about him to show me just how crazy God is about me.  So much about Leonard’s project makes no sense, but I think that in part is what love is all about.  Love, real love, does that which no one else is willing to do, it does that which cannot be explained, and it does so in ways that despite the fact that they may never understood seem to resonate so deeply and profoundly that they leave a real lasting mark.  At the end of the day, love seems to breathe life into the deserted places of this world, it withstands the desolation to ignite our lives with color.  This is the truest testament of Christ’s love for us, that despite how unlovable we might in fact be, he loved us anyways, not for his sake but for ours…love is a creation work, and much like Salvation Mountain, salvation itself is the creation of life where before love’s breath no life could have existed.

While I have never met Leonard, it seems like he was a simple man who followed his heart and trusted God to make something beautiful out of the love he had found.  He never questioned the rationale behind it, he never doubted the significance, he just moved forward in trust and in hope believing that the miracle of God’s love would be enough to see him through.  I guess to me the miracle is something even bigger, the miracle is that not only would God’s love be enough to sustain, but its sufficient to sprout new beautiful life in the most unsuspecting of places.  I want to love like Leonard, because I think Leonard loved like Jesus, and as strange as it appears on the surface it truly is a beautiful thing.

Painting Clay,
CP 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Enjoyment


          Today for the first time in a long while, I am on a plane bound to New York.  It’s been a long time since I spent extended time in this great city, and much has happened since then.  Back in 2006 I had the privilege of working on a project in the heart of Manhattan.  That summer was a beautiful and strange time in my life.  I had no way of knowing at the time, but in a lot of ways, it was the beginning of a great journey that has brought me to a place I never would have imagined and has taken a course that I could have never predicted.  There have been many twists and turns along the way, there have been some tough times, but mostly looking back there have been some very beautiful and very unique things that have risen from the ashes that in some strange mysterious way have shaped my life.  At the moments in life where things take a sudden turn it’s easy to feel like we’ve lost something or something has been taken away…but it turns out, nothing’s lost, we’re just being given something different, a different way forward, a new greater gift…it just takes a little time to see it with clarity.

That same summer I began to diligently chronicle my life via written word, the most prevalent relics are a series of letters I wrote to myself to serve as a compass of sorts to always point myself home.  To this day there some of the most cherished pieces I have penned, even despite that they have never been shared with another soul. 

On the plane ride in to NY I read the first installment in the series of letters that I have written annually around my birthday.  In 2006 it turns out I thought I had reached some point of epiphany in my young life.  I thought for the first time it looked like everything was coming together in beautiful, simple harmony, but man was I wrong.  I had this expectation and hope for the course my life was on, but it seemed the Lord had some very special and very different plans.  I am probably being melodramatic, but at the time it wasn’t the most comfortable process to let the Lord loosen my grip on just about every aspect of this life.  My relationships, my career, my dreams, my fears, every thread of who I thought I was has since then undergone some sort of radical transformation in to something far greater than I would have dared to dream.  It is almost as if that first letter in 2006 was a ticket to a wild ride that I’ve been on ever since.  Maybe the ride started far earlier and I simply don’t possess a mechanism to recall the steep slopes I’ve traversed, but nevertheless, all I know is that regardless of when the ride started, it’s been amazing.

It’s almost comical how the Lord used the shattering of my expectations for him to reveal himself as something greater.  But for this I couldn’t be more thankful, I think part of me might have crafted a safer tamer God, a smoother less bumpy ride if given the choice, but it turns out that if I got my way I’d have something far less spectacular.  What’s odd is I don’t feel like I’ve ever really set the bar too low or hedged my bets in terms of the way I hope, dream, and love.  Looking back however, it seems like I was being lead to have a notion of love that is bigger still (and getting bigger all the time).  I’m thankful the path I’ve been on hasn’t met my expectations but rather it’s shaped my expectations into something more wild and free.  It just so turns out I needed that over the past few years, and it’s done a wonderful number on me.   Man, am I glad the Lord is in the business of meeting my needs not bowing to my expectations…because the two are vastly different beasts.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the Westminster Catechism of Faith, which states that the chief end of man is “To glorify God and enjoy him forever…”.  The thing that always strikes me as profound is how our enjoyment is paramount in this lifetime.  In some sort of odd way, a lot of the circumstantial questions in my life are largely unresolved, but yet somehow over the years I’ve found a new, different kind of peace about all the stuff that society tells me I have to “figure out”.  Maybe this is the very enjoyment we’re called to seek out.  Whether we’re given moments of certainty or mystery, stability or chaos, war or peace, we’re given moments…and regardless of the circumstantial anatomy of what we get, it is my deepest and truest belief that they’re all gifts.  And once we view them as such, there is a transformative power we receive that allows us to steward and enjoy all our moments in newer richer ways.  It's a very hand to mouth way to live, but only when we stop worrying about where the next meal comes from will we then allow ourselves to savor the richness and flavors of the meal we have today.  Stranger still seems to be the fact that the moments which I find myself immersed in deepest enjoyment tend to be the moments where God is most glorified…turns out they’re one and the same.  A beautiful marriage of glory and joy.

In any case, it’s good to be here now, to savor this city, to savor the strangers and the pace, the bigness of it all and to remember the intricate design that’s played out over the past years.  While I’ve always felt like a sojourner in this town, it’s familiar enough to hold a key which unlocks some wonderful memories.  I look forward to the days ahead, yet not too far ahead, just taking each moment as a gift and doing what I can to light up the darkness.

CP