Monday, November 10, 2008

Expectation Shaping

This Friday marked the last day of a chapter in my career, I’m going to be changing jobs and heading back into financial advisory work for distressed businesses. As I walked out the door of my employer’s office in Atlanta on Thursday afternoon, I was nothing short of excited. As I’ve been reflecting over the past few weeks about my tenure, my current circumstances, I have had an increasing sense of optimism and excitement about what lies ahead. At the same time I have a deep sense of thankfulness of what the LORD has afforded me and his very clear, very present hand in every aspect of my life, as the mantra goes, “Life is Good.” With all this going on in the backdrop I’ve also been thinking a lot about how my heart is, (and was) when this chapter of my life was still being written and I lacked a tangible sense of direction and closure on what direction I am heading. Certainty affords peace in a lot of ways.

At the same time I have been thinking a lot about what happens when things don’t go my way, and how I respond, for I believe character, if not defined in those moments, is certainly apparent in our active process in responding to unmet expectations. When we don’t get what we want, or when things don’t play out as we plan, we revert quickly back to greedy toddlers who throw tantrums on a whim and define the whole of our existence in temporal circumstance. All too often we define what “good” is by getting what we want, knowing what the big plan is, or having control.

On top of my professional situation being an element of my life that is on the verge of drastic change, I also have found myself much more politically engaged than usual with this years election…no soap box here, just keep reading. Regardless of who I voted for or how I feel about the election, I was thinking long and hard Tuesday evening about how the results of the election would impact my interest and involvement in politics. In short over the course of the past 8 years I have transitioned from being entirely indifferent about the political environment in which we live to being engaged and interested, who knows maybe, just maybe, I am growing up in this way. What I realized is that the things I believe in and the ways in which I choose to be an active contributor to those things should be a static element of my time and efforts. They should in no way be subject to circumstance or contingent upon whether or not they are in flow with my personal plans and agendas. Can my beliefs and convictions change? Absolutely! However, the way by and extent to which we go about engaging in God glorifying activities based on those beliefs, should not.

If I define my perception of “good” purely on a basis of my expectation, I am stripping an infinite quality of God’s grace and subjecting it to my viewpoint of the present tense. In the same sense, if I allow my involvement in ministry, politics, and relationships to rely upon the world around me complying with my rules and expectations then what does that say about where my heart is in the matter? As I look at my own life, I realize that my ability and willingness to serve and be involved is largely at risk to my expectations of how things will shake out.

When we allow ourselves to have expectation shaped realities, we exchange a firm foundation of core beliefs for a weak behavior pattern that is crafted around the direction that the circumstantial winds may blow.

Luckily for us, God is in the business of meeting needs not expectations. If our perception of God’s work is limited to our expectations then we reduce him to some sort of cosmic secretary who either did or didn’t do things as we had hoped. I, for one, am deeply grateful that God’s work doesn’t rely on my circumstantial thoughts about what’s best for my life, but rather its based on his deep and unshakable love for me, and his plan for not only that which is good but for that which is best. I am frequently guilty of compartmentalizing God and my view of him…but, the more I go through as a person, and the more I learn to trust him with my good and bad moments, the more I am learning to set no expectations for God whatsoever. In doing so, I am consistently blown away by the amazing ways the he works, and how much greater things are as he lets them play out…especially when compared to how things might have gone if I would have gotten my way.

So, when our chapters are unwritten, and wide open, do we still view and trust God to be good? Further more do we allow our unmet expectations to impede upon the beliefs and convictions that are nested in our hearts?

I am so thankful right now for where I am, there’s a lot that’s going right, and there is a lot that isn’t going great. As I see it, its not a matter of things going with the flow as I perceive it, but rather, it’s a matter of going with the flow of that which God has ordained, period. I don’t know exactly where I’m going to end up or what will happen tomorrow, but I do know that God’s in the process of crafting me to be more like his son…sometimes this feels better than others, but I’m glad to be refined in this way.

I’m glad Christ’s love, his grace, and his work are not dependent on my expectations…if so, we’d be living under the hand of a pretty lame God. The creator is still creating, and he works in creative ways and all because of his real sense of what is good and that which defines our needs.

CP

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