Below are a handful of the raw thoughts that I’ve been
thinking and feeling my way through so far on the trip. Much like cooking in a well-stocked kitchen,
these are simply ingredients that I’m starting to get my arms around…maybe I’m
baking a cake, maybe it’s an omelet…nevertheless, not really trying to make
sense of what it all means just yet…just want to be vulnerable with the
adventure I’m on, but also with the things that this journey has provoked from
a spiritual sense as well…nothing in life is one dimensional…so here’s what I’m
observing in myself by being here, just wanted to share as I think these are
probably good questions to ask no matter what.
1. Fear…Motorbikes in Hanoi – it takes all of 10
seconds to notice the swarms of people on motor bikes in Vietnam, just about
everywhere they out number every car nearby by about 20 to 1. Most intersections are uncontrolled, or I’ll
say it this way, if they are controlled, most people don’t stop. Everywhere you turn there’s people cruising
carry ladders, building supplies, huge bushels of food…family of 4? No problem,
load em on the bike and go. It’s amazing
to see, and frankly has given me a lot to think about in terms of how we define
safety for ourselves. Safety I’m convinced
is entirely relative, and largely a matter of that which is familiar, the things we regularly
practice, and that which we perceive.
There is no reason a child of 2 years old should be entirely at ease
while his Dad swerves amidst the swarms of other bikes with his mom and sister
on the back as the whole family barely dodges nearby motorists. In my few days in Hanoi, I never saw a kid on
a bike appear to be scared, and I also never saw two bikes or any two vehicles
for that matter in a wreck. I took a
ride on a motorbike piloted by a 65 year old man through Hanoi’s back alleys,
and in truth the world is different in the flow of things…nevertheless the
whole experience raised up a lot of interesting thoughts on how I view fear,
how I view comfort, and how I respond to the environments I find myself
in. As stupid as it is there is a great
line in the trailer for Will Smith’s new summer movie he says “Fear is not real…Danger
is real” or something to that effect, and I think that’s the truth…fears and insecurities
are often not real, they are a warped reality in which we choose to reside. Processing through areas in life I think I’m
safe, and how I view “safety” and fear in general…relationally…circumstantially…professionally…spiritually.
2. White Noise – over here there is practically
zero stimulus that registers with me. By
that I mean, all the conversations that I walk by, all the adverts and media on
the streets, they are all incomprehensible to me. While the sights and sounds are all very real,
they register on a very subconscious level.
It’s amazing what freeing all that bandwidth does to what we see, hear,
think and feel in an environment. Being
here in a lot of ways has become like white noise for me, it is not the absence
of sensation, however it is a null value to my brain which has given way to me
paying attention to a lot of details that I would almost surely miss in my own
environment. This goes to say for both
what I physically encounter as well as the content, depth, and duration of my
thoughts. It’s been quite therapeutic so
far.
3. Being Strange – over here it’s very easy to
THINK that everything is exotic, or weird, or strange. There are not many white faces, there are not
many “western” things. I have to
constantly remind myself however, that I am the visitor here, I am the strange
one. The things which I find fascinating
or odd are simply a part of normal life for these people. It’s been great to think about what this
means for how I view things and people at home.
Similar to my observation on the relativity of fear, I believe there is
a relativity of normal for all of us.
Processing through what much of that means, thinking how to be
considerate of other peoples normal/strange, but above all I think I’m learning
a lot about what it might mean to embrace people with no questions asked.
4. Human Constants – while not much else translates
from our culture to the culture over here, seeing the constant human elements
(family, joy, laughing, children playing) is so amazing. In truth we’re as similar or as different as
we chose to perceive…ultimately we can choose what we cling to, both are
important, but neither define us entirely.
Trying to think about the things in my life that cultivate the unification
of people and a deeper sense of love for those I’m blessed enough to share this
life with…maybe that means new relationships or simply adjusting my world
view. I guess the trick becomes to find
and acknowledge the importance of the things that we share without undermining
or neglecting the things that make us different.
5. Craftsmanship – it doesn't take long in these
ancient places to see that there is a pride in craftsman ship that our culture
has long since forgotten…I don’t really know what to do with it, but I want to
cultivate an artisan, craftsman approach to my life…there is a reason that
people from all over the world come to see some of these relics, I fear for
this modern generation that we might not leave anything worth a shit for the
generations to follow…again, processing through this one. Thinking about what my crafts are, what they
should be, and what the labor of time, dedication, and patience can yield in my
work, my life, and my relationships.
6. Sacrifice – in visiting the temples around here
it is very traditional for the people to make sacrifices to the Buddhist gods,
praying for good fortune and blessing for and from those in the afterlife. Food, money, and other things of value all
are used…been thinking a lot about the cathartic power of letting go, laying
stuff down, offering things sacrificially in my life. It really does take a great deal of faith to
let go of the things of value in our world, and trust that there is more to
life than food, money, jobs, social status…it’s a long list, and worth thinking
about.
7. Poverty – it may go without saying that these
countries are not the wealthiest places on earth. I’m sure by a technical definition most of
the people I’ve encountered are living below the poverty line. That said, I have not yet been approached by
a single person asking for a handout.
People will beg you for your business, but there doesn't appear to be a
sense of expectation that the solution to poverty in these people’s eyes is
solved by being given more. They seem to
understand that to provide for themselves and their families takes winning
business and working hard. Ironic that
this would be the case in a communist country where we’d expect the opposite,
and that frequently in our capitalist country the poor are looking for formal
or informal financial aid (a very communist idea). Leaves a lot to consider about our attitude
towards commerce, working hard, poverty and the whole bucket of social issues
that are attached. If we enabled the
poor to have better opportunities would our attitude towards poverty change? –
I stole this thought from someone else…but it’s a good one.
8. Improvising – I woke up my last morning in Hanoi
feeling quite antsy, I didn’t feel like my heart really wanted to go to Ho Chi
Mihn my next planned stop. Instead I
wanted a quieter, less urban, more off the beaten path destination. I mulled it over for a good few hours and
decided I wanted something different than my original plan and that despite the
fact that I felt bound to some arbitrary itinerary I created, I gave myself the
freedom to change the plan. It was 100%
the right move, I ended up in Hoi An a quiet town near the ocean, and had a
wonderful two days there. This was a big
point of contemplation for me and frankly a much needed life reminder, too
often I get enough momentum in life that I forget to think about what it is I
am actually doing and why I started doing it in the first place. I am learning it takes bravery sometimes to
change the plan, it takes admitting we don’t know as much as we thought we once
did, it takes being willing to move around life as opposed to trying to move
life around yourself. Just because we’re
willing to change doesn’t mean that we’re guaranteed to find satisfaction,
change in its best form is a mechanism to better align our actions with our
beliefs and desires, change at its worst is a cheap and selfish tactic to avoid
wrestling with the cause of our dissatisfaction. My time in Hoi An had an equal chances of
being awesome as it did of being terrible, what made it great was the fact that
I chose to find the incredible things about my time there…I could have easily
found the same in Ho Chi Mihn, it wasn’t my location that needed to change, it
was my attitude towards the journey I am on.
So much love for you all…thanks for being a part of the
adventure.
Hugs,
CP
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